Vidi-Ooze: Peter Andre – Behind Closed Doors

That’s right, the cheeky chappy who ended up with a supermodel turned mum turned popstar turned reality tv star has released his comeback single. Currently at number four in the UK singles charts, I think Mr. Andre has done rather well. The video though – nothing special. Opening with what looks like a group of scandily-clad nu-ravers lounging around a pool, blissfully unaware that Peter Andre is in the bushes photographing their every move isn’t the best image for a comeback.

These pictures of the frankly boring pool antics are then interspersed with Peter in his personal darkroom to develop his latest haul of stalker shots. His darkroom though is very secure as we often see a blue laser beam move up and down the screen as a very high-tech alarm system – no-one must find out what happens behind closed doors…ever.

The people by the pool begin to act slightly odd by almost posing for Peter, which shatters the illusion he’s a strange little popstar hiding in bushes taking pictures of people by swimming pools. Either that or they were happily playing and heard something in the bushes and look over, I’ll go with the latter. Suddenly we see one of his victims crawling across the floor in an strange fashion before Peter stares intently at the camera, then at a photo he took.

Wait, what?! The person who has been secretly photographed by Peter Andre has broken into his dark room and instead of shout at him or hurt him she starts feeling him and dancing – perhaps she’s showing her anger through the medium of dance? After she crawls backwards away from him (for no apparent reason), we see Mr. Andre hanging out in a club acting all smart/casual like a bastard. His lust is again too strong for him not to pick out his next victim, a woman who randomly appears out a door and is attacked by make-up artists.

Next thing we know an array of Peter’s past obsessions are laying all over his car and he’s running around taking pictures almost bursting with excitement. He then however looks at his developed photos and notices they’re shit! The eyes are all white, leaving them looking like something from Village Of The Damned. This leaves him feeling very angry and almost shows it in his face, but not very much – he’s probably more concerned about where tonight’s stalk spot will be. At the end though he is confronted by a woman, who turns out to have been undercover this entire time and has busted Peter and his sick games. Wonder if he’ll plead insania?

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